Chan Ah Teck says…

My daughter told me that she is sending me to an Old Folk’s Home. I am not upset, instead, I am relieved. I decided to accept the facts. At 65, I simply do not have the energy to live in self-denial. I cannot run away from it. I cannot hide under a stone…it’s there and I’ve got to deal with it. Taking care of a patient with Alzheimer’s disease is a difficult job. I can understand. I would not want to ruin my daughter and her son’s career and life. Perhaps the best solution is really for me to move away. However, I really appreciate the effort they took to find an Old Folk’s Home that is near their house. I am really glad that I can see them quite often.

Ah Kim discussed about some legal matters with me today. He said that it is important that I sort out vital legal matters with my family while I am still able to do so. For example, what forms of treatment I would or would not like to have later in my illness. He said that if I did not settle this fast while I can, I might be too confused to understand the options available to me next time.

Ah Kim introduced me to Living Will and Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. He told me that a Living Will is a legal document where a client declares his or her desire that life-prolonging measures be stopped when there is no hope of ultimate recovery. On the other hand, some people use a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care to appoint someone to make all healthcare decisions. Kim told me that the process of setting up a Living Will or Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care is complicated and usually requires the help of a legal expert. It also must be set up while I am aware of what is involved and understand the process. I must settle it now, when the symptoms of my disease are still mild. Ah Kim gave me a website which explains clearly what these two documents are about: http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/4872/legal_matters/living_will_and_durable_power_of_attorney_for_health_care_what_is_the_difference.html

I hope that in the later stages of my illness, I’ll still be able to recognise my family members. I hope that they would still care about me and visit me often. My memory might not be as good as it was before, but that does not stop me from being me. DJ Rodie, McGill University Montreal, Canada, whose grandmother has Alzheimer’s disease, said, “I know there will come a day when she will no longer be able to recognise me but I believe she’ll still be the same loving, caring person that I spent countless hours with.”

- Wang Yue Wan (27) 4G

[Legal Matters and Looking into the Future]

Doctor John Kim says…

I have understood Ah Teck’s family’s conditions when I met up with them today. Ah Teck’s daughter is working as a Lawyer while his son-in-law is working as a professor. His grand-daughter is currently staying in her university dormitory and seldom goes home. Their family has practically no time for Ah Teck.

For a busy family such as Ah Teck’s, I strongly suggest moving the patient into an Old Folk’s Home. The need for 24-hour intense care everyday can become too much for his family to cope with.

I do understand that moving loved ones out of the house and into an old folk’s home is a difficult decision for a family to make. The children might feel that they have let the patient down, or worry that they will not get the same loving care they got at home. This is not just a dilemma for the family, but for the patient too. The patient may feel uncomfortable staying in an unfamiliar place. However, I hope Ah Teck would understand his family’s feelings if they ever send him to an Old Folk’s Home.

It is important to find a right Home for the patient. It has to be in a place that is easy for the family and friends to visit, and that feels friendly and welcoming. A good place would be one where people are gently encouraged to take part in activities such as exercising to music, singing or chatting. There should also be ample space for the patients to sit together in the day if they want to, and should have a safe garden for people to sit in or go for walks in. Patients often miss their homes during the beginning of the stay in an Old Folk’s Home, thus, furniture and other personal belongings could be brought into the Home, with permission. Regular visits by the family will also help the person to settle into a good Home.

I hope Ah Teck’s family would think twice before making a decision as this would be a very important decision in Ah Teck’s life. Hopefully, Ah Teck can understand and appreciate what his family is doing for him.

- Wang Yue Wan (27) 4G

[Care and Support – Professional care]